When I was about 4 or 5 I had a recurring dream. I was trapped in a shoe box and was gradually turning into a wax faced blonde haired blue eyed rosebud doll.
I had no idea how literal my dream was but clearly in 1950s Manchester the pressure to conform, to behave like a little doll, to be blonde, blue eyed, pretty and ‘feminine’ was huge. That at such a young age I was aware that somebody somewhere wanted me to stop moving, speaking, thinking…. and to look different. With my sallow skin, dark hair, hazel eyes I was never going to fit the mould. Nor would I be silent.
After a life time of fighting my way out of that box, at 58 years old I find myself trapped in a box partly of my own creation and partly by the physical and economic restraints on me.
I am hoping to use this blog to reconnect with my real self, to express myself and in this way, once again, to force myself out of the box.
Bear with me, this is my first attempt to use this site and it will take time for me to work out how to use it.
fionagoffe 